This piece I have written here is a little bit of everything that covers some of the subjects and pieces of matter that I have worked on or had attention drawn to this year. My background in Death Work as a Necromancer is heavily folk based with some trimmings and gold filigree from Demonic work. While I have shifted some attitudes I have towards particular practises and focuses, I am still inclined to reassure people that I am always learning. I am ever evolving and I am ever growing. I do not think I could be satisfied with what I already have at my disposal and that greed for knowledge and thoughts is forever with me.
The first topic I am bombarded with is:
You don’t look or seem like a Necromancer.
This is a fair assessment. I will only accept criticisms from people I do not expose to my background working. I do not share everything. That is fair of me. I am shy and I am private and I struggle to come out to others especially in an online setting. This is sparked from my distrust of people as it is. I have always been somewhat wary and cautious. I also am constantly measuring myself against others to gauge what is and is not acceptable conversations or discussions. This is a fault of my own making. Even with comfortable faces and individuals, I struggle. I am used to in person interactions far more than digital ones and I fall short more often than I cross bridges.
What I do not, however, is accept criticism of aesthetics. Death Work has no true aesthetic. It varies per culture. For all intents and purposes, white and black are customary and many cultures portray death in the forms of whites and greys and black. While I wear black often, yes, I also hold natural themes close to my heart. Woods and trees, moss, lichen, even flowers and growth. Death has changed. It is the metamorphosis from one thing to another. There are aspects and attributes of Death that go hand in hand. Decay is one of them. Burial is another. Part of this world has richly steeped energies in death. The Ocean is another. Sinking into a soothing abyss. The augur of water being what washes us for burial and the salts that consecrate us, preserve us.
Bogs are the augur of the dead where I hail from. Bogs are the roads between the underworld and the overworld. They preserve the dead and keep them and tend to them. Things lay amidst the reeds and grasses, submerged just below the surface and forever kept in natural stasis, asleep. Water is the conduit through which we also speak to our ancestors. We scry from pools or from bowls and from tea and coffee, and we share water with the dead as a way to transfer our messages unto them. Water carries and it flows and it has a current that travels between worlds. But bogs are also full of life and growth. They are the blended beauty of decay and new life. And that, to me, is a lot of my energy work regarding Death and the dead. There is a sacred beauty and sanctity to the natural processes of life and the inevitable shift from where our feet tread to where our feet sink.
We are surrounded by Death at all times. We walk upon the bones of things that came before us and we surround ourselves with the skeletons of things that once lived. We consume things that are living and we change them into energy for us to continue forwards. We burn the dead things and we drink merrily from the bottles of things that also were once alive. We watch skeletons of trees and branches become ashes and we joke to one another and celebrate the life we are currently living while small creatures fly into the flames and we talk about our hunts and consume the things we have killed. The world we live in is steeped in Death at all times and we blissfully ignore it. But we become comfortable with the things that do not look like Death. And yet still we struggle with acceptance of it. Is it so horrible to see flowers and moss as banners of Death? So you shan’t keep a flower or any plants from henceforth in fear of the inevitable? Creatures and animals of all sorts kill and are killed. They perish and they die. Are the avenues of telly no longer of interest for you cannot bear to watch the natural cycle of the world you live in?
We go to historical museums and find fossils and preserved imprints of plants and life that no longer is with us. We see the remnants of a time far past gone and yet we joyously find wonder and amazement at these things. Are they no different? Death takes on so many forms and reminders, banners and flags that it is indeed there and it cannot be avoided. It is part of the whole of everything in order for things to be able to continue.
As a summary, there is no aesthetical requirement that must be met in order to pass as a death worker in any way. You do not have to appear as a gothic edgy teenager with a doom and gloom aesthetic and attitude. You absolutely can be positive and warm and welcoming and happy. This is, indeed, Death we are talking about after all! Mourning and sorrow and grief are just some aspects and parts of the process. But they are some of the more emotional aspects of the process. And these feelings or opinions on the grief of death also vary from culture to culture. For some, my kin included, Death is a celebratory event that may still include grief and sorrow, but that grief and sorrow is reserved for us. It is not the dead we are sorrowful for. It is for the absence made. It is a time of acceptance of loss, closure, and learning to live and grow without the loved one we have lost. This is all part of the process and we show our gratitude for what they have given us in life by remembering them in their absence and in Death. We repeat this process and the joys of their life lived during their holidays and birthdays as well as remembrance on their death days when we honour the dead.
Sorrow and feelings of grief and loss are natural and human. Hurt and pain and part of the process as well as fear. It is the goal of any living creature to live as much as it can for as long as it can. It is natural and it is okay. The waves of these feelings do pass and they remind us why we move forwards with the hope, joy, love, and happiness we do. We are blessed to know one another and love one another. Cherishing this and the memories we are gifted with, and we find that death is a cycle that we are all a part of. We all must come to terms with this in the end.
But remember that there are flowers over the graves. There are trees and there are fossils and there are things that are insignias of Death. You can choose to wear any of them and don yourself in those clothes. There is no quota of imagery that you must conform to in order to be passing as a Death Worker or a Necromancer. The idea that I would have to look a certain way is simply silly.
The second topic I want to cover that keeps being brought up is:
Graveyard Etiquette.
Working with the dead does so often go hand in hand with spending time in a cemetery or a graveyard. Some people also do not know what the difference is between the two. Cemeteries are not attached to or affiliated with a Church and a Graveyard is traditionally the burial place found on church grounds. There are various types of cemeteries as well and some are memorial parks where you may find a memorial of a site of death or you may find that a statue or other memorial icon or imagery has been put in place of a burial site or a grave. This does not always mean that it is a site of a burial though. Sometimes the individuals to whom the memorial is honouring are buried elsewhere. These are all valid sites of death work.
This is just a misconception I wanted to cover regarding this subject. Memorials do not always have a guardian figure present in their places, but often all cemeteries do as well as graveyards. Please always speak with the Guardian if you are visiting. This is the first and foremost thing you should try and do. If you feel unwelcome, then leave. Do not stick around. If you do not know what the Guardian may like, then inquire if you should leave something for the Guardian or if the Guardian would like something. Ask. It is okay to communicate. And if you struggle with communicating to spirits then perhaps do not partake in these sorts of activities until you are more comfortable. Using your own ignorance as a pass or a “Get out of jail free” card to potentially be offensive or disrespectful while you know you lack ability is in poor taste. Never capitalise upon your ignorance to get away with things as an excuse. Expect better from yourself.
Please do not just manhandle things within the space of the dead. Do not correct any overturned urns or vases or handle anything that is not yours to handle. You will need explicit permission from the Guardian or the resting soul there to do so. Do not help yourself to fix or “make right” anything unless you have explicit permissions to do so. You do not know what the individual in question may or may not like. Some graveheads or gravestones are in disrepair because they should be. You should respect and honour the wishes of the spirits present and this sometimes means leaving things the way they are and not disturbing them. As Fra. Solaris put it: “Do not help yourself to someone else’s home and have the audacity to presume to know how they want their home to look or be organised.” You should never leave anything unless you have permission as well. This is not your space to do as you please and this also applies to taking things.
Next subject:
Osteomancy
There are a few methods of using bones for divination. The one I use is through tossing them. I have a reading mat I use that is a compass. I apply cardinal directions as well as the elemental correspondence to them when I read. Osteomancy does not have to be human bones. Bones are vocal. Bones also are funny things. We do not always think of certain things as being associated with bones, especially when they are not bones. But I have a friend who has a dried sea star limb in her set. This is still yet a core part of a once living creature. Shells also I believe do apply to the osteomancy sets as they are, regardless, the firmament upon which something built its life. The principle, to me at least, remains.
The echoes of the bodies of the living, the structure and the earthly matter that remains from the living are what I use. This is often teeth as well or even horns and antler. Bones also may change out from your set or they may shift and adjust accordingly. The sentience of the bones is paramount in your reading as you are communing with many voices, some louder than others. Corvid bones have a tendency to be extremely vocal and boar bones have a tendency to push others out of the way but also provide insight to inner battles. Bones will come and they will go. Your set will change and it will grow or diminish depending on a reading. Some animals do not get along and some adore one another. Sometimes they do not wish to interact with one another and will refuse to speak if they are in the same toss pile. You may have to adjust.
Osteomancy is a very intuitive type of divination. No two individuals will perform the same sort of methodology for the reading. And most importantly, you must develop a good relationship with the bones you use. It is not as simple as obtaining random tossing bones and using those. I see sets online that may be purchased, but I cannot guarantee that the bones in question will work with me or my needs or even communicate with the other bones I have in my possession. I perform cartomancy on some bones before I even begin working with them directly and I adjust according to my results of course. You also do not need to have all the same type of bone. Some prefer this. I do not. I find diversity amongst the dead to be far more appealing.
Each set will be unique. My methods are not superior or inferior to anyone else’s. Osteomancy is a freeform art in Divination and should be treated with such respect.
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